The struggle is a good thing…

So I am blogging again today.  Looking back, it occurs to me that I have been away a while.  Baseball, tee ball, ballet (not me, the half-pint), teaching, working, scouting – all of those things that I love are taking me in a direction away from something else I love – sharing this little corner of the universe with you.  So it is that there is one thing in particular nudging me back into the electronic study where I can pace around and sort out my feelings. The Boy Scouts of America, yesterday, “affirmed” their stance on discriminating against “avowed and openly” gay scouts and volunteers.

What utter nonsense.  First and foremost, let’s just take a look at the words they use.  They “affirmed” their policy.  How does one “affirm” discrimination?  The juxtaposition of the two words in the same sentence brings to mind the inauguration speech of Alabama Governor George Wallace.  “Segregation now!  Segregation tomorrow!  Segregation forever!”

In that speech, the Governor “affirmed” his state’s policy, didn’t he?  No doubt about it that he “affirmed” his policy of never letting one group of people mix with another group of people.  50 years in our rear-view mirror, I have to ask – how did that affirmation hold up?  Was it the right thing to do?  Was it in keeping with our founding principles?  The answer is certainly “no,” at least for the humane and decent among us, it is.

So you have this “affirmation” from the Boy Scouts of America that they are going to keep discriminating against people.  They say that “a majority of their parents” want this.  Well, wait a sec – no one ever asked me.  I have been in scouting since my Star scout was in the first grade.  Can’t recall ever seeing a questionnaire from BSA mailed to our house or our troop.  How do they know what a majority of the parents want when they never surveyed them? 

I am just a volunteer, working my butt off for this great little Troop so that they can grow into strong, wise, and self-reliant confident men who make up their own minds about such nonsense.  I have no resources to donate to scouts other than my time and my commitment to the principles of scouting.  Principles like this little ditty from Sir Robert Baden-Powell:  “The spirit is there in every boy; it has to be discovered and brought to light. “  Or maybe this one:  “The most worth-while thing is to try to put happiness into the lives of others. “  How does any of that involve discrimination based on a person’s sexual preference?

Baden-Powell is, if you didn’t know, the founder of scouting (there is considerable speculation that he himself was a closeted homosexual.  While his sexual preference doesn’t matter a bit to me, I guess since he wasn’t an “avowed” homosexual, scouting’s founder must be ok in the BSA’s eyes, because to date they ain't kicked him out).

And let’s talk a moment about that concept of being an “avowed” person of any sexual orientation.  I missed a lot during puberty, I mean there was just a lot going on with girls, and sports, and school and family life…so I could have been out fishing or playing baseball the day the village elders came around intending to make me swear a vow to be either hetero or homosexual.  I do not remember ever “avowing” to any particular sexual orientation.  I do remember seeing Dawn Wells on TV in those little red shorts on Gilligan’s Island and being pretty well smitten by that, but that is about as close as I get to “avowing” anything in terms of my individual sexuality.  Maybe it’s different for others, I just don’t remember having to swear a vow about my sexual orientation.  Seems I just grew up having the one I got.  

So this topic of the Boy Scouts of America “affirming” their discrimination against “avowed or openly gay” kids and volunteers is nonsense.  Scouting should be open to all.  It diminishes the integrity and credibility of our commitment to the Scout Law to intentionally turn our backs on kids and their parents because of something as absurd as sexuality.  As a committee member and assistant scoutmaster, I find it absolutely inappropriate that I would be expected to engage any of my scouts in a discussion about their sexuality.  Discussin gthis decision, a good friend of mine and scoutmaster pointed out the obvious, "as scout leaders who grants us that license, that charter, that permission to engage kids that way?"  No one.  Yet the scouts have forced that dynamic precisely.  By making a big a deal out of individual sexuality, the BSA has wrongly thrust that issue onto local Troops.

A scout is Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, and Reverent.  Nowhere in there does it reference sexuality.  I will continue to love scouting and maintain my commitment to the kids in my Troop.  And I will keep faith that, at some point, the Boy Scouts of America will embrace the true meaning of their charter and open the doors of scouting to all by abandoning this antique and contradictory obsession with homosexuality.

So, today is a little more pointed than most of my entries.  I suppose that happens when you see something you love making a bad decision or heading off in a wrong direction.  The reality is that scouting, just like the scouts themselves and their volunteers, is not defined by this one issue.  There are millions of us out there who say “let the kids join; let the parents volunteer” regardless of this issue of sexuality.  Don’t mistake my passion for contempt – I love scouting and the opportunities it presents.  I am just a little sad and embarrassed today by the direction BSA is taking here.

Wherever you are today, whatever you are doing, I hope you can take some time to reflect on what is best about scouting in America; the kids. Their decency, their commitment to solid scouting principles, the promises they make, and keep, on a daily basis. I hope you can spend some time being assured that there are a million or so volunteers all pulling hard in the right direction and I hope you can join me by keeping that faith that someday, someday soon, we too shall overcome this.  Until the time that we do, like many things in scouting, the struggle to achieve will in the end serve us well.

Thanks for stopping by my blog today.

Yours in scouting,

Dennis

smalltowndad@hotmail.com

Why we celebrate...

A remarkable series of events occurred this weekend prompting tonight's late-night post.  The weekend began with a celebration - a friend was retiring after a career spent in the military and in law enforcement.  He is my son's scoutmaster and the troop was invited to attend the celebration.  As assistant scoutmaster,I attended with them and was very happy to participate with them as they honored our skipper. The speeches and tributes were all really great, but what really caught my eye was just the love and pride his friends and family had for him. It was a great celebration well earned by a very great cop.

The next morning we welcomed three of the troop's senior scouts to our home so they could lead training exercises with a younger scout (my son).  Leading the training was necessary to satisfy the rank advancement requirements moving the three of them from Star to Life scout at our recognition banquet tomorrow night.  Life scout is the final rank a scout achieves before gaining the rank of Eagle scout.  (As a side note, less than 1% of all American men have achieved that goal - these are terrific kids and this milestone is a really good one to celebrate.  They are on their way).

So great fun was had watching these young men lend themselves to the development of a younger scout and to watch these brave and accomplished leaders handle the delicacies of offering their required training while simultaneously being whipped at Candyland, Old Maid and Go Fish by my five year-old daughter.  We will have a great recognition banquet tomorrow night.

After the boys left, we ran errands related to my nephew's Confirmation at church tomorrow morning. This rite of passage within the Methodist church carries with it a gathering of the clan and an opportunity for hearts bound by common blood to be again warmed by the common experience of family.  It will be so nice to see everyone; brother, sister, mom, cousins - just to be with them and smile, hug, drink in their good humor and the pride of another family milestone reached.  It will be a great day.

As I said, we were out running errands (new pants for the ever growing 12 year-old who, I am certain, is keeping several textile mills in business with the rate at which he is growing out of his clothes).  As it happens we live very near the campus of Michigan State University and Saturday was Commencement Day.  Everywhere we drove on campus, we saw moms, dads, proud grandparents and siblings embracing the new graduates dressed as they were in green robes and beaming from ear to ear.  There were no obvious estrangements, no observable fears, worries, or resentments - those ordinary human emotions that pop up in relationships from time to time.  From the outside looking in, all you could see was love and pride conjoined with relief and anticipation.  There too, clans were gathered to jointly mark the day with one of their own.  An opportunity not to be missed, a singular moment of shared joy too good to be traded for any other moment at any other locale.

A few of the errands we were running that afternoon also related to the Boy Scout recognition banquet planned for tomorrow night.  Given that my son is advancing to a more senior level of scouting, and that he is in my mind an outstanding young man and a fine boy scout to his troop, I'm looking forward to celebrating with him tomorrow night.  There will be a similar, albeit smaller, gathering of the clan to mark this milestone.  But the emotion is unchanged - an opportunity not to be missed.  One more chance to say to one of my family's younger young men "I see you! Do you see me seeing you?  'Cause I was wondering if you saw me seeing you because I wanted you to know how really neat I think you are."

I was reflecting on that sentiment - those goofy but heart-warming words spoken by my mother so many times in my youth - and it dawned on me that THAT is exactly why we celebrate.  To come together and say to the celebrant "Do you see me seeing you be great?  Because I wanted to make sure you knew I know how really neat you are..."

And I think that is pretty neat.

So wherever you are, whomever you are with, I hope you find the time to celebrate the good things in those around you.  We are reminded all too often that the only time we are promised is this exact moment we are living right now.  And if we are lucky enough to string together these moments and others like them in sufficient quantity, then we ought not take for granted a chance to join with our families, our friends, those people we think are really neat, in celebration.  In the end, it's our joined lives and the very living of them that we are celebrating.  To quote the great Bruce Springsteen, "It ain't no sin to be glad you're alive..."

So thanks for stopping by my blog and including me and my little corner of the world in you being really neat in your little corner of the world.

Dennis

smalltowndad@hotmail.com

An Ordinary Extraordinary day with Scouts...

"Courage is doing what you're afraid to do.  There can be no courage unless you're scared."

That great quote from WWI flying ace Eddie Von Rickenbacker is one that is oft repeated or emulated by others.  My dad, without the benefit of Google or the internet, shared a nearly identical version of it with me as a child growing up.  On an extraordinary, ordinary Saturday morning we in my family saw, in miniature, what that quote really means.

This particular Saturday found us up at the crack of dawn, heading off to yet another terrific Boy Scout adventure.  Groggy family piled into the family grocery getter, we all headed off to Camp Kiwanis in Central Lower Michigan for a day of service to others.  Michael's Boy Scout Troop was volunteering to help with an event called "Webelos in the Woods," an opportunity for Cub Scouts and Webelos to earn merit badges and participate in some of the greater aspects of scouting, camping, and  achievement.

Planned for the younger kids were activities like Archery, Engineering, Camp FIre building and a climbing/rappeling opportunity on the camp's famous "Tower of Strength."  Parents were invited to come and hang out while the older Boy Scouts volunteered to help out at different activities around the camp.

During break periods and down time, the Boy Scouts who were present were permitted to engage in some of the same activities that were set up for the younger Cubs and Webelos.  It was during one of these times that I asked our nearly 11 year old son if he thought he wanted to a take a crack at mastering "The Tower of Strength."

Call her what you will - "The Widowmaker," "Old Cranky," or "The Plywood Pariah"; the Tower of Strength is a four sided climbing tower of ancient construction with a rock course on two sides and a rappelling surface on the third.  It is central to the parade grounds at Camp Kiwanis and casts an imposing shadow there for all of the visitors to see.

I was expecting some hemming and hawing and an eventual "no" from Michael.  He is my conservative child; my "why cannonball into the pool when the steps are right here?" child.  He is as deliberate, purposeful and cautious as my youngest is wild and carefree.  So it was that he surprised me by meeting my gaze with a huge freckly smile, and said,  "Sure, Dad, I'll give it a try."

I was doubly surprised because I knew how exhausted he must have been.  The night before there was a Walk-A-Thon event at the local school and Michael ran the entire three hours he was there; stopping only twice for water.  He logged nearly 14.5 miles in three hours of solid running merely 15 hours before we arrived at the base of Old Cranky.  So, I expected him to flop down into the camp chair next to me and tell me "maybe next time, dad."

But - he made a bee-line for the Tower.  He was suited up, given an expert safety instruction and assumed his place on the right side of side by side climbing stations set up to assault the west side of the Tower of Strength.

The Tower is a seductive temptress to those adolescents who come within its presence.  Its rock course, straight up a 90 degree wall using only your brain, arms, hands and legs, tests strength, courage, and flexibility.  The reward for reaching the top? Rappeling down the other side.  That's the rule of the Tower - the only way you get to rappel down is if you can find the grit within you to climb up.  It's not uncommon for kids to have to use successive trips on different visits to the camp to work up their courage to make it to the top.

Now the fact is that anyone climbing is first and foremost in the hands of trained, certified climbing instructors.  So, thing one - the kids are always safe.  Thing two - they are tied off in expert climbing fashion and, if everyone has done their job right, should be able to make the effort at climbing the wall with no real possibility of falling.  Those things being certain, however, try convincing a ten year old 15 feet off the ground and 15 feet from the top that he is no danger whatsoever.

So it was that Michael approached the course.  He is lean, and strong, and very flexible and the first 15 feet up were achieved without even breaking a sweat.  Then, at the midpoint of the wall, he became uncertain of which handholds to take and had the courage to tell one and all "I'm afraid, can you lower me please?"  He didn't cry or scream out, but there was no doubt he wanted down.

Anthony scales the wall to help Michael

What he didn't see was that a fellow scout, Anthony, a whirling dervish of a kid with wild hair and a broad, energetic smile, was preparing to assault the second route on the exact same wall.  He called out "Hang On Michael!  I'm coming, I'll show you the way!"

The crowd around the Tower also called out to Michael "Hang on, Don't quit!  You can do it!"

In a flash, Anthony, a confident and skilled climber two years older than Michael, zipped up the left hand side of the wall and, pausing ever so slightly when he got next to him, said to Michael, "c'mon, you can do this.  Follow me."

Michael, all eyes on him now, re-mounted the wall with vigor and commitment and, when he couldn't find a foothold, used his hands and arms to pull himself up to the next spot where his boots could find purchase.  Families from Scout packs we had never met before called encouragement to him "You can do it!' came a call from the archery range.  "Don't quit, Michael!' called out a dad from behind his young son. A complete stranger standing next to me called on to Michael as if he was his own, "You can do it buddy!  You're almost there!"

Slowly and surely he made his way to the top and successfully summited The Tower of Strength on his first try.  We all cheered.  I cheered hard, knowing how tired and afraid he must have been.

Rappelling down !

I watched with pride as he rappelled down the smooth side of the Tower.  I wondered what I might tell him later of his extraordinary ordinary day in Scouts and it occurred to me that not a single person in the world would have held it against him if he said "I'm tired, and scared, and for crying out loud gimme a break I ran almost 15 miles on 10 year old legs just last night." No one would have judged him if he insisted on being lowered from the Tower.

But...instead...

Instead of having done something no one would have held against him, he (with help from fellow scout Anthony) achieved something now that no one will ever be able to take away from him.  He saw his fear, and mastered it.  He stood fast and colored in the lines of his character with bravery and achievement and did the very thing he was sure he couldn't do.  He did on an ordinary day what is the ordinary mission of Scouting and the parent volunteers who work so hard at making these days possible.

And, in that regard, he had an extraordinary, ordinary day at Scouts.

So thanks for stopping by my blog.  Wherever you are today; whoever you are with - I hope you are spending time with people whose courage lifts you, inspires you, and reminds you that there is bravery yet within all of us, if we just look for it and sometimes have the help of others to find it.

Dennis
smalltowndad@hotmail.com