A Michigan farmer dies and goes to hell.
Being a Michigan farmer from a small town, he had always been a good church going family man.
Unfortunately, owing to a mistake in Heaven, the farmer, forever a kind and decent man, ends up in Hell.
The second he gets there, the devil wants to punish his good Christian spirit.
So the devil gives the farmer a plot of land and tells him, "you are to plow this land for the rest of eternity. But no matter how hard you try, nothing will ever grow, and you will always be dissatisfied with yourself!"
A few days go by, and the devil notices the farmer is very happy.
"WHAT THE HELL!" the devil screams. "Aren't you miserable that you can't grow crops no matter how hard you try!"
The farmer says, "No! Are you kidding me, I am from Michigan, nothing good ever comes without hard work and perseverance. Its not the crops I love, its the work!"
The devil hears this and get irritated, so he says, "Fine, from now on, the weather will be a dry heat of over 130 degrees! Let's see how you can handle that!"
A few days pass of the blast furnace and the Devil notices the farmer is happier than before.
"How can you be happy working in this dry heat!" he screeches at the farmer.
The farmer replies, "Don't you get it yet! I'm from Michigan, if we ain't freezing, we frying. All of us farmers there can work all day long in this weather!"
This time the devil is really upset, so he says, "FINE! Then from now on, it is going to be off season. It is going to be dark all the time and you will always have an urge to plow the fields, but it will be snowing, cold and dark, and all you will see around you is frozen dead crops you can do nothing with!"
The devil goes back to his throne very pleased with himself knowing he finally made the farmer miserable. Not five seconds later, a demon comes up to the devil frantic and scared, and says "Satan! You won't believe it, the farmer is jumping up and down completely ecstatic!"
By this time, the devil is completely furious and runs up to the farmer and yells, "I have done everything you make your stay here MISERABLE! and still you are excited! Aren't you cold?"
"Freezing!" yells the farmer
"And aren't you frustrated with the crops!" Asks the devil
"Completely!" answers the farmer
"Then what in the Hell are you so damn happy about!" Asks the very confused devil
The farmer jumps up and down with a huge grin on his face and says to the devil, "Hells frozen over! The Detroit Lions must have won the Superbowl!"
So it's Gorgeous fall day for the first day of the Pro Football season. I have to admit, I swore off the Lions after being an ardent life-time fan on that infamous day that they "took the wind" after winning the toss in an overtime game against Chicago in 2002. They lost that day, of course, and on a vast majority of the football Sundays since then. Their decades of seeming intentional incompetence led me to just say "scrap the franchise."Being a Michigan farmer from a small town, he had always been a good church going family man.
Unfortunately, owing to a mistake in Heaven, the farmer, forever a kind and decent man, ends up in Hell.
The second he gets there, the devil wants to punish his good Christian spirit.
So the devil gives the farmer a plot of land and tells him, "you are to plow this land for the rest of eternity. But no matter how hard you try, nothing will ever grow, and you will always be dissatisfied with yourself!"
A few days go by, and the devil notices the farmer is very happy.
"WHAT THE HELL!" the devil screams. "Aren't you miserable that you can't grow crops no matter how hard you try!"
The farmer says, "No! Are you kidding me, I am from Michigan, nothing good ever comes without hard work and perseverance. Its not the crops I love, its the work!"
The devil hears this and get irritated, so he says, "Fine, from now on, the weather will be a dry heat of over 130 degrees! Let's see how you can handle that!"
A few days pass of the blast furnace and the Devil notices the farmer is happier than before.
"How can you be happy working in this dry heat!" he screeches at the farmer.
The farmer replies, "Don't you get it yet! I'm from Michigan, if we ain't freezing, we frying. All of us farmers there can work all day long in this weather!"
This time the devil is really upset, so he says, "FINE! Then from now on, it is going to be off season. It is going to be dark all the time and you will always have an urge to plow the fields, but it will be snowing, cold and dark, and all you will see around you is frozen dead crops you can do nothing with!"
The devil goes back to his throne very pleased with himself knowing he finally made the farmer miserable. Not five seconds later, a demon comes up to the devil frantic and scared, and says "Satan! You won't believe it, the farmer is jumping up and down completely ecstatic!"
By this time, the devil is completely furious and runs up to the farmer and yells, "I have done everything you make your stay here MISERABLE! and still you are excited! Aren't you cold?"
"Freezing!" yells the farmer
"And aren't you frustrated with the crops!" Asks the devil
"Completely!" answers the farmer
"Then what in the Hell are you so damn happy about!" Asks the very confused devil
The farmer jumps up and down with a huge grin on his face and says to the devil, "Hells frozen over! The Detroit Lions must have won the Superbowl!"
So I was not bothered by much of the last football decade while Detroit stunk up the entire North American Continent in terms of pro football. But, I am a Michigan State fan, and therefore am a Drew Stanton fan. So when the Lions drafted him I was a little interested.
And Matthew Stafford's performance last November against Cleveland, where he threw five touchdowns including engineering the game winning drive with a separated shoulder, had me seeing visions of Bobby Lane. Stafford is tough and a leader. Drafting Jahvd Best out of California and Suh out of Nebraska also awakened my long dormant interest in this feeble team.
So I commit to watch them again this year, but with a jaundiced eye. And toward that end, I have to say that I have rooted for them on and off for 40 years and they have won exactly one playoff game. So this year, i will watch them and root against them in the secret hope that that will be the cosmic grease on the Lions forever stuck Karmic axle.
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| Matthew Stafford versus the Cleveland Browns, 2009 |
Thanks for stopping by my blog - hope you and yours are well and happy this Indian summer day.
Dennis
7 comments:
well did you see the end of the Chicago game? Apparently the "reverse jinx" has some kind of curse multiplier effect....
Well, week 3 and they are stinking up Minnesota. Recovered a fumble in Minnesota territory and, because of a hands to the head of Brett Favre, had to give the ball back AND donate 15 yards to the opposition. God I love to hate them - they stink.
Two interceptions in the endzone and, surprisingly :-0 they lost by two touchdowns. 22 straight road losses. 22. This team is 31-114 since William CLay Ford brought that idiot Millen to town as GM. Yes, he is gone, but we are still suffering through the hangover. We are 2-33 in the last 35 games. Does anyone even remember the last 9 win season? 2000 - before they hired that moron Millen. 9 wins does not make a great team - but folks - there have been three year stretches when we haven't won 9 games since he destroyed the franchise. I cannot believe I invested an entire afternoon watching this. And while I am ranting, does anyone else just throw up in teir mouth a little when they Matt Millen on tv talking about football? It's like me being on tv giving expert commentary on lung transplants. If he was a transplant surgeon with a 31-114 record, do you think he would still be working? GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So they came up two points short today in Green Bay - not a bad effort but, considering the mistakes they had a real chance to win that game. A win in Green Bay...hmmm....they haven't won in Green Bay since before I was married. So we are 1/4 to another winless season. Remarkable to me is that Brian Billick actually said on network tv that what the idiot Millen did to the Lions franchise was "...nearly criminal."
Let the record reflect that Sunday, I did not turn the tv on once to watch these bums - and look what happened! The won by what, a score of 44-6?! You may all thank me now for the potentcy of my reverse curse.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICA539aGHBo&feature=player_embedded
Look at this - a Detroit Lion actually having fun during the course of a game. Nice to see, wasn't it?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YY8APrYU2Gs
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