Small Town Dad answers your questions....

Ok - so even though Small Town Dad has only been in operation a little over a month, I have managed, through a network of supporters more generous in their praise and support than I probably deserve, to generate a small following on these interwebs.

As is the case with any group, there are, of course, questions.  I will endeavor from time to time to answer them.

1.  Merle from Indian River wants to know:  "Do you hunt?"

I guess he read the piece about me and the tent and figured it would be safer for him to be out of the woods if I was in the woods and armed on opening day.  So, let me assure you "Merle," no, I do not hunt.  I have been hunting exactly once, with a college roommate, and the truth is I was way more afraid I would shoot him accidentally than I was concerned that I might actually shoot some animal on purpose.

2.  Cal from Mt. Pleasant writes:  "You claim you golf in a couple of your posts. What courses do you enjoy the most?"

Cal, while it is true that I claim to golf, I do not claim, however, to enjoy any part of it.  Given my game, I am sure the experience of me playing golf is as miserable for me as it is for the grass.  Thanks for writing, though.

3.  Artie from Alpena wrote in to praise the Michigan Moments piece (thank you Artie) and to ask what part of Michigan I like the most.

Artie, your question is a hard one to answer because they are all so different to me.  I know very little about the UP, except my college RA and one of my most awesome roommates are both from there, so it can't be all bad.  And until I was 9, I lived in Detroit (Old Redford) so I am, or was, a big fan of Detroit - the coneys, baseball, Eastern Market, MOTOWN, etc.  My mom and father-in-law are both proud Cass Tech grads, so Detroit gets a powerful nod. But I would never want to live in the metro area.

I will say I have not had much experience in the thumb; and my time on the sunrise side was largely spent selling cedar boxes and moccasins at my parents' tourist trap in Tawas City, so they don't exactly percolate up to the top of my list of favs.

I am thinking the west side, from Silver Beach in St. Joe - a family favorite location - up to Mackinaw City and extending east to Mt. Pleasant up through Clare, Gaylord, over to Lewiston and then straight up to the bridge.  I am not sure if there is a name for any object shaped like that, but for my family memories, that part of the state seems to be the tenderloin.

 4.  Stu Gots from Chicago, Illinois wants to know "...what is better, the perfect Chicago Hot Dog or the Perfect Coney Island...."

The only thing wrong with a perfect Chicago Hot Dog, Stu (if that is your real name) is that it isn't a coney island hot dog, and it's from Chicago. So Fuggetaboutit. (seriously, I love Chicago)

5.  Hester from Omer writes:  a) how small is your small town? and b) don't you worry about offending anyone with your opinions?"

Hester - good questions.  In terms of how small the town is, it is so small that Omer could beat it in a snowball fight.  No, seriously, it is so small that our zipcode is "4."  It is so small that when the Justice of the Peace introduces strangers to his wife and sister, there is just one woman standing there.  Seriously - our only traffic jams occur when three polite people show up at the 4 way stop sign all at the same time. "After you..." "no, no, after you...."  " Gentlemen, please, I insist, you both go first..."

In terms of offending anyone - I am sure I will, but then again, I came to that pretty easily before I ever started the blog.  Honestly I don't really try to be mean ever.  My hope is that small towns are as long on forgiveness as they are on kindness.  Hester?....I can almost hear you laughing from here.

6.  Several current and former teachers have written in about the appalling lack of grammar, syntax, and spelling on display here.

It is true, my brain thinks much faster than my hands can type.  And when I go back and proof-read I see the first two letters of every word and then just convince myself I know what it says and move on to the next word.  Add to all of that incompetence the fact that most of the stuff gets thrown up here either on my lunch hour or late at night. But, I promise to get better.

Indeed, I suggest a double promise:  I promise to try and get better about the proofing, and to refrain from indicating that I am a product of public educashun, if you promise to be nice and discreet about pointing out my many grammar flaws.  If you break your promise to me, I can provide paperwork that establishes without a doubt that public school teachers passed me all the way through 12th grade and that my Bachelor's and Master's degrees were conferred by tax-payer supported universities as well.

So, just so long as we understand each other, I'll keep my public school pedigree on the down-low and you be cool about my mistakes, ok?  Until then - Go Cranbrook!

7.  My neighbor down the street wrote to say that I leave my porch light on too late at night, am a wiseass, and to remind me that he has never really flipped me off.

Yes, all of those are true, the neighbor down the street who doesn't like me has, to my knowledge, never actually flipped me off.  I don't even know if he is so predisposed to engage in that gesture. And I do leave my porch light on too late at night, and I am a wiseass.  I would like to say it was nice hearing from him, but, well, like mom always says, if you can't say anything nice about someone, blog about them and let some other gossip tell them what you said.

8.  Several have written to say thanks for sharing the story of hope regarding my daughter's birth.  In all seriousness, thanks.  Among the stories of my life, it is an absolute favorite.  And for those out there still hanging on to hope - good.  Don't ever give up.  Our daughter is neither the first, or only, prayer that has been answered in our lives.  Keep the faith.  To quote the great Jeff Goldblum from Jurassic Park, "Life...finds a way..."

 9.  Eric from Hartland writes "Do you still have my catcher's mitt?"

Eric, let it go man.  It was 35 years ago.  Seriously, how did you even find me?

Just by way of a wrap up at the end of the first month, let me share that we had around 1150 visits in the last 35 days with visitors coming primarily from the US, with representatives from the UK, Canada, Germany, Israel, and Singapore also looking in. 

So, I wanted to thank you for your support of Small Town Dad.  Wherever you are, you can be assured that I am delighted that you stopped by.  Please take the time to take care of yourselves and the ones you love, and by all means keep writing and sharing the blog. It has been a ton of fun.

smalltowndad@hotmail.com

Dennis